Good, Evil & Their Indifference
by TellNull
Summary: For seasons cats around the lake have believed the same thing, watched the same sky and told similar stories. The generations rotate, but the personalities never change. As much peace as this brings to the Clans, it cannot remain forever. Beliefs change, as do cats, as do Clans. If only innovation hid behind something other than a vindictive orphan apprentice.
1. Allegiance

**Allegiances**

WindClan

Leader Specklestar - light brown ticked tabby tom.

Deputy Lightstep - white and black she-cat.

Medicine Cat Pouncetail - dark gray tabby tom with a stumpy tail.

Medicine Cat Apprentice Shrewpaw - brown tom with white toes.

Warriors

Pebblehop - gray-and-brown tom.

Swiftbite - small white and gray tom with large blue eyes. Apprentice, Tulippaw.

Hawkflight - light brown tabby she-cat.

Branchleap - tall brown tom with observant yellow eyes. Apprentice, Doepaw

Brambleflight - light brown and gray tabby tom.

Leopardheart - tortie she-cat with a white tail.

Gooserun - white tom with a black muzzle and ears.

Rabbitwhisker - small brown she-cat. Apprentice, Skypaw.

Softwind - white tom. Apprentice, Hillpaw.

Cliffjump - black tom with a white chest.

Apprentices

Skypaw - thin white and black tom with vibrant green eyes.

Doepaw - brown tabby she-cat.

Hillpaw - tall light gray tabby tom.

Tulippaw - light gray she-cat.

Elders

Harechase - dark brown tabby tom.

Clearbreeze - small white tom.

Meadowfly - fluffy black and white she-cat. Former kittypet.

Queens

Lavenderhop - light gray she-cat with soft features. Mother to Branchleap's kits, Twigkit, Hopkit, Woolkit and Poolkit.

Beeleap - calico she-cat. Mother to Rowanstar's kits, Icekit and Rowankit.

Kits

Woolkit - fluffy light gray she-kit.

Hopkit - small dark brown tabby tom.

Poolkit - light gray tom.

Twigkit - light gray and brown tom.

Icekit - creamy white she-kit.

Rowankit - rare tortie tom.

ThunderClan

Leader Oakstar - dark brown tabby tom.

Deputy Stoneclaw - dark gray tom.

Medicine Cat Robinsong - fluffy dark brown tabby tom.

Warriors

Squirrelfang - orange tabby tom with sharp green eyes.

Chervilbite - gray tom.

Ryefeather - brown and gray tom. Apprentice, Lionpaw.

Fireclaw - orange tabby tom.

Mosstree - tall dark gray she-cat.

Ashleap - dark gray she-cat. Apprentice, Spikypaw.

Nightclaw - black tom with amber eyes. Apprentice, Wolfpaw.

Shiverfrost - dark gray she-cat.

Applesnow - cream tabby she-cat.

Apprentices

Wolfpaw - gray tabby tom.

Lionpaw - orange tabby tom.

Spikypaw - tortie she-cat with ragged fur.

Elders

Woodenfur - brown tabby she-cat.

Sungaze - orange tabby tom with many scars.

Queens

Snowjump - pretty white she-cat with orange paws. Mother to Oakstar's kits, Ivykit, Tansykit and Whitekit.

Rowantail - brown tabby she-cat. Expecting Fireclaw's kits.

Kits

Whitekit - tall white tom with pretty blue eyes.

Ivykit - orange tabby she-kit.

Tansykit - brown tabby she-kit.

RiverClan

Leader Ripplestar - long-furred light gray she-cat.

Deputy Minnowstream - light gray tabby tom.

Medicine Cat Frogsplash - gray and brown tabby tom.

Medicine Cat Apprentice Sandwater - cream tabby she-cat.

Warriors

Stormyriver - large dark gray tom. Apprentice, Reedpaw.

Bluepelt - light gray she-cat.

Tallwave - large, long-furred black tom.

Watervole - brown tabby tom. Apprentice, Mistpaw.

Streamflower - pretty white and black she-cat. Apprentice, Lotuspaw.

Rainfall - graceful gray she-cat.

Poolclaw - black tom

Echosplash - white and gray tabby she-cat.

Hailfall - soft furred white she-cat. Apprentice, Beetlepaw.

Lakeheart - tall black tom.

Apprentices

Mistpaw - long-furred light gray she-cat.

Lotuspaw - white she-cat.

Reedpaw - light brown tabby tom.

Beetlepaw - small dark brown tom.

Elders

Fishbreath - light gray tabby she-cat.

Beavertail - dark brown tom.

Queens

Birchsplash - white she-cat with bright green eyes. Mother to Watervole's kits, Twistedkit and Shorekit.

Asterheart - dark gray tabby she-cat. Expecting Poolclaw's kits.

Kits

Twistedkit - orange tabby she-kit with a crippled leg.

Shorekit - brown and white tabby she-kit.

ShadowClan

Leader Newtstar - light brown tom with white paws.

Deputy Sharpfang - tall black tom. Apprentice, Mudpaw.

Medicine Cat Toadheart - brown tabby tom.

Warriors

Fogclaw - dark gray tom. Apprentice, Ratpaw.

Bloodbite - orange tabby tom with green eyes.

Darkbattle - white and black tom. Apprentice, Firpaw.

Hollytooth - brown tabby she-cat. Apprentice, Thornpaw.

Lizardfur - brownish gray tabby tom.

Yellowpelt - cream tabby she-cat.

Hollowflame - black and white tom.

Yarrowfall - black she-cat with white ears.

Apprentices

Mudpaw - strong brown tom.

Ratpaw - black tom with a white tail.

Thornpaw - bright brown tabby tom.

Firpaw - small gray she-cat.

Elders

Grayshade - dark gray tom.

Foxtail - orange tabby tom.

Queens

Shadepelt - black she-cat with white toes. Mother to Fogclaw's kits, Pouncekit, Batkit and Duskkit.

Blackfur - black she-cat. Mother to Bloodbite's kits, Fangkit, Antkit, Boulderkit and Fluffykit.

Kits

Batkit - large black tom with wide paws.

Duskkit - gray tabby tom with yellow eyes.

Pouncekit - light brown tabby she-kit.

Fluffykit - soft orange tabby she-kit.

Antkit - small black tom.

Boulderkit - large dark gray tom.

Fangkit - lean black she-kit.


	2. Prologue

Specklestripe breathed in the air, signalling for his patrol to stop. A battle patrol of six cats including himself made their way to the ThunderClan border quietly. Night had risen and a half moon shone in the sky. Rowanstar had decided then would be the best time to attack, as most of ThunderClan would have gone to sleep and the medicine cats were away at the MoonPool. Specklestripe felt a chill run down his spine, Rowanstar showed no mercy in battle. He'd kill the weak and avoid the strong, like a fox. Always causing trouble and doing it in the most cunning ways possible.

Stream water flowed peacefully in the distance, the scent crossing Specklestripe's nose. A distant splash could be heard, and in one movement Specklestripe had jumped the stream. The rest of the patrol followed suit. A small brown apprentice joined the patrol, a weary look in his eyes. Shrewpaw, the medicine cat apprentice. His mentor was a part of Rowanstar's patrol, the leader had insisted on keeping the medicine cats from the MoonPool for the battle.

Undergrowth grew thicker as the patrol made their way through ThunderClan territory. Shrewpaw had to be pulled out of two different bramble bushes by the warriors and even Lightstep, one of the best trackers in WindClan, was finding it hard not to get poked by the sharp thorns and brambles. It wasn't until the patrol was in front of ThunderClan camp did they allow themselves to rest. They'd wait first for Rowanstar's patrol to arrive, and then they'd act as backup once ThunderClan was too tired to put up a good fight. It was Rowanstar's main battle move, patrol one was weak except for one cat- Rowanstar- and patrol two held some of the most valued warriors in the Clan.

"I see them," whispered Lightstep, looking off to ThunderClan's second entrance. The first two cats had exitted and were making there way to the cat on duty. Rabbitwhisker and Branchleap, both notable for their sneaking skills. Their dark brown pelts helped to blend them in to the point where Specklestripe was shocked to know Lightstep had spotted them so quickly. One held the cat on watch down while the other ended him, quickly and effectively. "He's not moving." Noted Lightstep, more hurt than surprised.

What happened next was quick and a cat who didn't know the plan would've been caught off guard. First was the medicine den, Pouncetail sneaked in and soon a clutter of useless herbs fell on the floor outside the den. Branchleap and Rabbitwhisker blocked off the nursery's exit. Four other warriors and Rowanstar made their way to the apprentices' den and a loud yowl sounded.

"WindClan's attacking!" Specklestripe recongnised the voice, it belonged to Nightpaw, one of the oldest apprentices in the den. Perhaps only a few sunrises away from warriorship. His yell was followed by several others, and sooner than later the ThunderClan clearing was a battle ground. The different fighting styles were evident, ThunderClan was strong and lean but WindClan fought to kill. Specklestripe noticed Shrewpaw was looking away from the scene _. What has WindClan come to?_ he asked himself as he saw a ThunderClanner fall unconscious on the ground.

WindClan cats had energy, a lot of energy. It took until moonhigh for Rowanstar to call for the second patrol in battle. The patrol ran down, keeping Shrewpaw in the centre of the crowd until they reached the medicine cat's den. To Specklestripe's relief, only one cat had died, the warrior who had been watching over the Clan. When Shrewpaw left to be with his mentor the patrol switched from defense to offense and Specklestripe found himself up against a familiar face. Oakstar.

"WindClan's deputy," he nodded his head in respect, and Specklestripe found his jaw loosen. "Pretend that you have forced me into the warriors' den, we must speak."

Specklestripe didn't know why, but he found himself wrestling Oakstar into the den. When they were inside Specklestripe felt his head spin. _How do ThunderClan warriors sleep without the stars?_ He shook his head. "Why did you want to speak to me?"

"You can't tell me no one in WindClan disagrees with Rowanstar's ways," said the ThunderClan leader. "There is no way ThunderClan is going to win this battle. Rowanstar is far too cunning... far too ruthless for us to predict. But on your way back, after the battle may you do our two Clans a favor and finish off that... that... fox!"

"Oakstar..." Specklestripe began, before cutting himself off. That familiar brown hair, the tears that were building up in handsome yellow eyes. The same shades as the dead cat. "I'll kill him. Don't worry, he'll never harm another cat again." He turned around to continue with the battle, but before he went off, he heard two more choked words from Oakstar;

"Thank- you."

Specklestripe left the warriors' den, looking around to find that ThunderClan had retreated out of their own camp. Rowanstar let out one last yowl, and the two patrols left as one. Specklestripe walked with a rather shaken Shrewpaw. He looked forward, seeing his leader's ears above the crowd. Remembering the choked 'thank you' and the lifeless body, Specklestripe knew exactly what he had to do.

He ran ahead, slowing down once he was besides Rowanstar. The leader tilted his head, calling for Pouncetail to lead the patrol and slowing down to Specklestripe's usual pace. "I presume we need to talk?"

"Yes," the tom said, trying his best not to shake. Rowanstar was the one to compliment his bravery during his warrior ceremony. The leader seemed to notice that something was wrong and stopped walking.

"Well, hurry it up, then," he meowed impatiently. "Beeleap will kill me if I'm back late. The kits won't sleep until they know I'm in camp. The little tykes." A warm smile grew on his face as he imagined his little ones.

"Keep that thought," Specklestripe whispered. Rowanstar was about to question his deputy when Specklestripe lashed forwards and cut open his throat. His eyes widened, then closed.

He fell with a thump to the ground.

Line Breaker

 _Rowanstar was about to leave camp with his patrol when Beeleap dove her face into him. She was a beautiful she-cat, as much as Rowanstar taunted her for her flat face and fluffy long fur. Icekit and Rowankit, Beeleap had insisted on naming one of the kits after him, ran after her. The kits began to plead._

 _"Take us with you!"_

 _"Pouncetail thought us how to do the hunter's crouch!"_

 _"Mama's stories are boring!"_

 _"The other kits say we'll only get under their paws if we play with them!"_

 _"I wanna lead a patrol!"_

 _Beeleap had to hush the kits and give Rowanstar an apologetic look. He nodded his head, understanding. "I'll be back in no time, kits. Don't worry."_

 _"Why do you have to go on all these patrols, Rowanstar? Other leaders just send their deputies and warriors."_

 _"I'll be fine, Beeleap."_

 _"You're down on your last life!"_

 _"Better make the best of it."_

 _"Rowanstar, please, I know I can't stop you from going so say you'll come back safe. Don't do anything stupid."_

 _"I promise I'll be fine," he stated, licking his mate on the forehead._

Line Breaker

Specklestripe quickened his pace, yelling for Pouncetail. Regret filled his every step. He had killed a cat. He had killed his leader. A father and a mate. He was hopeless. StarClan would never accept a murderer.

"W-w-what happened?" voiced a small voice, wide youthful eyes looking up at Specklestripe. The deputy paused, before relenting and spilling the entire story.

"It's all my fault... Rowankit and Icekit are such nice kits... Beeleap will be devastat-" Shrewpaw shushed him, and asked him to show him where Rowanstar was.

The two cats walked in silence, but as soon as Shrewpaw saw Rowanstar he shook his head. "No. No, he's gone. He smells like death itself. The best I can do is mask the scent and make it seem like a fox did it."

"Do I just lie to Beeleap?"

Shrewlaw paused, shrugging. "I'm just an apprentice, you should ask StarClan when you go to get your nine lives with Pouncetail."

As Shrewpaw worked on the scent and wound, Specklestripe contemplated his situation. It felt like the right thing to do in front of Oakstar, and Shrewpaw was being very accepting, but he knew he'd never forget his leader's eyes as they widened. The blood that fell on his claws. He looked away, examining one of ThunderClan's many oak trees. It grew higher than all the others in the forest, and few trees grew nearby it. Prey moved along the branches.

"Here, I'm done. Help me pick him up and bring him back to camp." Shrewpaw meowed, and at command Specklestripe picked him up by the scruff and Shrewpaw lifted his bottom spine. He held it gently, like a medicine cat should. Like it was alive.

The biggest problem was getting the body across the stream. They had to put down the body and make a makeshift bridge out of stone and wood. By the time the two were back at camp it was sunrise.

"Specklestripe! Shrewpaw! Rr-" Pouncetail stopped himself, looking at the dead body and then his apprentice. He ran over and took the burden off the smaller cat, Shrewpaw nodded thankfully and Pouncetail and Specklestripe dropped him in the centre of camp.

"Rowanstar?" choked a soft voice, Icekit's large blue eyes growing to the size of moons. Specklestripe felt his heart drop, the kit looked to be two moons old. "Wake up, Beeleap says she's very mad at you for coming back late- Rowanstar? Rowanstar! Why aren't you getting up?"

Specklestripe looked away, focusing on the grass as it blew gently with the hill's winds. "Icekit?" sounded another voice. Beeleap. "What are you doing out here without my permission? Oh StarClan! Rowanstar, you fool... what did you do this time?"

"I told you he wouldn't be coming back," said a final voice. Rowankit. "You never listen to me but I'm always right."

"Specklestripe? I'd announce this to the Clan, and then choose a deputy. We need to go to the MoonPool, Shrewpaw told me what happened. If anything, you need StarClan right now," Pouncetail pressed himself up against the young leader to comfort him.

Nodding his head in agreement, Specklestripe made his way to the TallRock and cleared his throat. Even before he spoke, half the Clan had gathered. They were curious, and relieved. "May all cats old enough to hunt gather below the TallRock for a Clan meeting!"

Every cat was underneath the TallRock except for Shrewpaw, who seemed to have fallen asleep in the medicine cat's den. "Our battle against ThunderClan went well except for the death of Rowanstar-" excited whispers filled the Clan. "-who will be greatly missed by WindClan and his family. Moving on to the present, I must choose a deputy before going to get my nine lives."

He had known who he'd choose as deputy as soon as he himself had gotten the position. "In the battle Lightstep fought not like a warrior but like a leader. Lightstep, you have proven time and time again your bravery and loyalty. Will you be WindClan's next deputy?"

The warrior paused, looking up with a shocked expression in her eyes. She began to talk, squeaked, cleared her throat and then tried again. "I shall."

"May you lead WindClan long after my death," Specklestripe meowed. "Clan dismissed."

Line Breaker

Specklestripe opened his eyes unsurely. The ground below him was solid, but unlike the wet surface surrounding the MoonPool. A wind blew against his face. He was on a somewhat familiar moor, and nine cats stood before him. Some seemed to be faded, and stars dotted all their pelts.

Names were quickly associated to eight of the nine cats, fellow warriors dead and gone. StarClanners. Badgerswipe, Sedgeheart, Ashfire, Daisypool, Patchrun, Flintsong, Hollythorn and Ryestar. The wind did not thug at any of their coats, and their eyes shone welcomly.

As Specklestripe took a step forwards, Badgerswipe moved forwards in unison. A giant tom compared to Specklestripe with black and white fur, he was Specklestripe's former mentor. "With this life," he said, before allowing Specklestripe to speak, "I grant you strength. There are going to be many challenges ahead, and many wars to be fought."

As Badgerswipe placed his nose on Specklestripe's forehead, an immense pain filled his head, preventing thought. A tight grip of pain grew from the spot, and the tom was knocked off his paws until the pain subsided.

Sedgeheart stepped forwards next. Specklestripe's first love, a beautiful orange tabby she-cat with green eyes. "With this life I grant you love. Love your Clan like you once loved me regardless of how they act and how they feel about you. Love is infinite."

When Sedgeheart touched his forehead, it felt like she had died all over again. Like he'd never see his former love again, but when he opened his eyes she stood with Badgerstripe, a brooding look on her face.

"With this life I grant you hate," Ashfire began speaking before Specklestripe was back on his paws. They were friends as apprentices, at ten moons old Ashfire had died protecting the camp from a fox. He was granted his warrior name at death. "Know that there is never a stronger force when hate is in the right paws. Hate those who hate your Clan, not those who hate you."

Specklestripe was caught offguard and the worst pain in his life coursed through his every vein. White sound played in his ears and his limbs felt numb. Hatred burned in his heart, hatred towards all who had tried to harm WindClan.

"You'll get used to it," Ashfire promised before stepping back.

Daisypool, his mother, was next to step forwards. Specklestripe felt his heart clench, his mother had died during his kitting. "With this life I grant you selflessness. Die for your Clan and die for the warrior code. Be prepared to leave in a heartbeat's notice for those you love."

As Daisypool pressed her nose against Specklestripe's forehead. The feeling was pleasant, and barely hurt. He looked at his mother as she stepped back. He knew he'd do for his Clan what she had done for him.

Patchrun stepped forwards, a WindClan elder who starved because he insisted he ate last regardless of his age. "When I died, I died knowing I could've been saving a cat. I was foolish, and I was brave. I give you a life to represent both of those. Rowanstar followed his brain, I hope Specklestar rules with heart." As his cold nose touched Specklestripe's forehead, he felt the pain of hunger and the bravery of a lion. Any cat could be a hero, from kit to elder.

Flintsong stood forwards next. He was Rowanstar's brother and the deputy before Specklestripe. Specklestripe could see the hate burning in his eyes. "With this life I grant you clarity. Maybe next time you can view life beyond your own maldeveloped moral code." When Flintsong pressed his nose against Specklestripe, an immense numbing pain stretched over his entire body. Battle tactics he didn't want to have flew into his head and organised themselves. "We know what you did." Flintsong added as he stepped back.

"I am Hollythorn, we were not born from the same Clan but I can see that you know me. With this life I grant you curiousity. Remember that your Clan isn't the only thing that matters." As Hollythorn placed her nose on his forehead, happiness jolted through him. He purred, appreciating the less painful life.

The last cat was WindClan's leader when Specklestripe was still a kit. He was tall and lean, and his eyes had a wise look in them. "To this day I do not regret my choice to make Rowanstar my deputy. When leading do not look only at the bad side but the good side as well. Each one has a different story to tell."

Pain jolted through Specklestripe as he reiceived his eighth life, his original life in such a state of disrepair that it wouldn't be making it pass the final, unidentified cat.

As he got up shakily, he looked to the final cat. A small wiry classic tabby with yellow eyes. She shone bright and didn't seem to fade, so Specklestripe wondered if she had just died. "You have heard of me before, I am sure. My name is Windstar-" A gasp escaped Specklestripe's mouth. "-as Rowanstar is unable, I'm here to give you your last life. No matter what happens, Specklestripe, I want you to remember to remain loyal to the warrior code. Many of my kin have died ignorant to its importance." Windstar's life seemed to swirl through him until it reached his heart.

"Specklestripe, you have lived by your heart and fought for your Clan. In all the seasons I've been alive I'd never hoped for a better leader. From now on you shall be known as Specklestar, may you serve your Clan well. StarClan walks with you."

The sky turned blurry and the moor shifted into no more than loose shapes as Specklestripe began to feel the cold damp ground and heavy wind. His heart beated loudly in his chest, he let out a breath of fresh air. He was Specklestar.

Line Breaker

Pouncetail stretched his legs, wanting to stay in StarClan for a bit longer to appreciate the lush moor and calming wind. He heard crunching behind him, and turned to check if it was Specklestar. To his surprise, it was a familiar classic tabby she-cat.

"Windstar!" he exclaimed, eyes shining excitedly. He felt like an apprentice again. Windstar was the first cat he'd seen at the MoonPool, she'd explained how WindClan was the closest Clan to StarClan and promised to tell him if anything was to happen to WindClan. He'd not seen her since the day he got his full name. "I missed you. Where have you been all these moons?"

"Pass the borders of StarClan," Windstar explained. "I return only briefly to inform you that there's been a prophecy straight from the source about a cat, I do not know who, in WindClan. Great evil will birth great destruction, and great destruction will rebuild the fallen evil. No, I'm afraid I have no idea who it is. Rowanstar, perhaps?"

Pouncetail repeated the words in his head. It might just fit. "But he's dead," Pouncetail pointed out. Windstar nodded, looking into space.

"I'll inform you if anything else happens. How's my Clan?"

"Cats don't really like Rowanstar, but you can't deny that he did good for WindClan. The ThunderClan territory we won has some of our elders plump and leafbares survivable."

"I knew that cat was going to bring good."

"And death," Pouncetail added sadly.

Prologue End

Author's Note: 3 000+ words, yay! I have a serious problem with chapter lengths... Anyway, this is probably not going to be the last of Specklestar/Pouncetail POV but the story's main character is Rowankit and a large chunk of it will be about him. I contemplated removing the nine lives part of the story because it doesn't have much to do with the main plot but I ended up keeping it in to make the story flow more. Please review! Even if it's just to tell me I'm a worthless little tyke who has no idea how to write. I wanna know what people think!


	3. The Half Curse

**Chapter One**  
 **"The Half Curse"**

 _Line Break / Story Start_

 **T** he half moon, every moon. That was Rowankit's unlucky day, no matter what were to happen and no matter how good things were before hand, something terrible would happen and everything would go off balance again. Moon one, he was born. Moon two, his father died. Moon three, the original fear of Rowanstar some of his Clanmates had disappeared and only Pouncetail, Specklestar and his family respected him. Moon four, he fought an apprentice who was insulting his sister and lost. Moon five, his mother was exiled. The memory jerked tears in his eyes, he knew _why_ his mother was exiled, just not the reason behind it. They'd said that she'd been the cat who killed Shrewpaw, the medicine cat apprentice. They said that it was all _her_ fault that he was gone and the only thing she managed to leave behind were her kits. Icekit and Rowankit, pathetic ways to leave behind her legacy. When Rowankit saw her walk out of the camp, he knew he'd never see her again. She had too much pride, too much _nobility_ to turn around. When Specklestar said she could never come back, she'd never come back. His memory then went to the cold expression on Icekit's face the moment she left. Icekit was normally bubbly, happy and extroverted. The moment her mother was exiled that changed. She acted more like her brother, cold and calculating. She spent time brooding and instead of playing mossball she spied on training warriors and apprentices. Rowankit didn't tell on her because he did the same. It was time for the sixth half moon in just a sunrise, and Rowankit was bracing himself best for the impact. He glanced towards Icekit, who wasn't paying attention to him. She was staring out of the nursery with thoughtful look in her eyes.

"I know," Rowankit mumbled. "Tomorrow we become apprentices and the final curse comes, right? Do you think Specklestar would decide we, too, are unworthy of WindClan and exile us on some kind of unfair judgement?" Icekit glared at him, but Rowankit simply rolled his eyes. Icekit had this idiot belief that Specklestar was some kind of saint because he spoke to her and Rowankit with respect- as if he was any different from any of the monsters that taunted them the heartbeat they took a pawstep out of the nursery. Rowankit knew that wasn't true, no such cat existed in WindClan. All cats still alive were either cruel and proud or cruel and unaware. All of them taunted, and thus all of them found that Rowankit and Icekit were unworthy- that they were less than cats. Sometimes that thought shook Rowankit with rage and ambition, or caused him to strike out violently. Before Woolkit, Hopkit, Twigkit and Poolkit left the nursery Rowankit took point in lashing his anger out on them. They always fought back, they always won. They were larger, Rowankit was tiny even for his age. His claws were sharp, but too small to do any damage. He knew no battle tactics because his only friend, Icekit, had just as much wisdom as he. Beeleap had insisted on making them wait until they were apprentices before they got to learn. His memory trailed back to Specklestar, and then his mind twisted back to the memory of his second moon. The moon his father died, the moon, he was _sure,_ Specklestar had murdered him. There was tainted blood on his claws and the wound seem forced open, meaning someone was trying to hide the size. There would be no reason for Specklestar to stay behind- and why would he of all cats notice the scent of blood?

"You're gettin' really violent, you know?" Icekit questioned, as if she could read Rowankit's mind. When Rowankit had approached her on it, he figured out that he went silent and looked at the ground when he was angry. He hadn't noticed that before, but he guessed that Icekit got more chances to examine him than he did. "You need to calm down, even Pouncetail is worried for you- that tom is perhaps the least opinionated cat alive. Well, he was until ma' left, then he got all strange and began to care about what happened around him. Or maybe that was because of Shrewpaw's death?"

"Both," Rowankit corrected. "Shrewpaw's death could be healed, but as soon as Beeleap was exiled he _changed_. He still doesn't care much for anything, but he has taken interest in us. Probably just to shut us down later on."

"Why don't you _ever_ trust anyone?" Icekit whined.

"I trust _you_ , and you're enough. If I trust anyone else then you might get hurt." Rowankit explained, causing Icekit to keep her mouth shut. He could see the tears growing in her eyes, but he ignored them. He knew that she didn't like getting her 'emotional' side pointed out, and commonly complained that Rowankit was making a big deal out of a beam of sunlight.

"I wonder if pa' was like you. I bet so, Beeleap said that he was really quite loving no matter what other cats say, and that we should trust him when we see 'im, you know, up there," Icekit nudged her head to the nursery ceiling. Rowankit got the point, but he had to believe otherwise. No StarClan cat would accept Rowanstar, not even the kindest and most open-headed of all. They had gotten to luxury, and they didn't want anyone stealing their prey from under their claws. "I wanna see 'em one day, Pouncetail says they're pretty as I can imagine and then times a 'undred. Rowankit? You're being angry 'gain."

"Why do you trust that medicine cat?" He asked irritably. "All he is doing is trying to manipulate us. His stories are probably lies, to try to get us to buy into his beliefs. And if not, then they're to get our trust and later ruin us. WindClan doesn't want to see us _fall_ , they want to see us break and shatter. I can shatter all I want, Icekit. I'm like water, I can reform. But... you're _ice_ , once you break- and you break easily- there's no bringing you back. Once you fall you land with a soft _thud_ and no one comes back for you. Except me.

Icekit looked at her brother thoughtfully, before shaking her head. "If you believe _everyone_ is evil, then isn't evil just normal? Rowankit, Pouncetail is worried about you and so am I. You can't keep on hating like this. You hate everything that moves and then some, other than me of course. Do you have any interests? Like fighting, or hunting, or herbs..."

Rowankit hissed. "Icekit, if Pouncetail suggested that-"

"If you _don't_ do it, Rowankit, you're going to hate for the rest of our life," Rowankit shook his head, banging his head into the moss of his nest. "Listen, Pouncetail says that he hasn't made plans yet but you should do it. Just once!"

"Icekit?"

"Yes?"

"No, no, no and _no_. I am not becoming a medicine cat. I'm becoming a warrior and so help me if you dare tell me what is or isn't good for me again I'll tear out your guts," He growled. He didn't mean to be hostile, but it just came out. Icekit had pushed all his buttons, and she deserved it. He heard a shocked gasp, giving him an amused smile. He'd have to remember that. Words hurt a lot more than claws.

 _Line Breaker_

 _Moon number five,_ thought Rowankit as he woke up the next day. The sun had just begun rising and the moon was still present in the sky. Almost a half moon, but not quite. Rowankit gazed at it for a long while, before realizing something was off. It was in the air, or maybe in the sky. There was a break in the usual pattern. He scanned the nursery frantically. He knew that if there was something up he'd have to collect Icekit and rush her out of the nursery even if it meant dragging her against her will. He needed to be sure something was wrong. He needed to know that he was safe, and Icekit was even safer. Getting up he began to scan the nursery frantically, flipping over moss beds in the process.

Then his eyes caught it, a little rowan bush that had not been there before. His eyes narrowed, the bush was ripe with berry, and there seemed to be an array of herbs underneath it. "What in the name of StarClan?" Rowankit twirled around, to see Icekit standing behind him with a confused look on her face. He looked her in the eyes, and all do they were sleepy they had a similar bewilderment in them. It was a sign, Rowankit knew- and Icekit knew, too. "Rowankit, you know what this means, right?"

"Icekit, it could mean _anything_ so don't go around making your crazy assumptions-"

"You're meant to be the medicine cat!" She squealed excitedly. "You can't deny it! StarClan sen' an omen, it must be so! You'll see, you're going to love it. And if you don't well then you can just train to be a warrior!"

" _Icekit!_ Stop it!" He yelled angrily. His claws were unsheathed. His sister instantly stopped, staring at his claws in shock. "I'm not a medicine cat, you and me _both_ know that, so stop flaunting it around. I don't want cats to think that I've gone soft or something. Have you ever heard of a _reputation_? Yeah, I guess not judging by the look of disgust on your face. _Stop. Trying. To. Make. My decisions!_ "

"You have a _destiny_ , Icekit- look- that rowan proves it!"

Rowankit was about to leap at his sister, before pulling back and instead slashing at the bush. It was still young and small enough to crumble under his paws, like a twig. He stomped on the herbs, and some of them managed to get squashed. Rowankit was fuming. _Does StarClan actually believe I should be a medicine cat? Is it because they think I'm going to be just like my father?_ He hissed into space angrily. _What was so bad about him, anyway? Every Clan needs to fight a war._ Icekit was crying, Rowankit could see. And at that moment he could see that the half moon curse had already started. He grounded his teeth. Just where would the curse end?

After giving Icekit a bit to sulk, Rowankit dragged her out into the clearing to get a mouse to share. As they sat eating above the rodent, they remained silent. Both kits were perfectly able of getting lost in thought, but Rowankit felt oddly nervous. He glanced looks at the TallRock and medicine den, and then towards the nursery where the remains of the rowan bush lay. Eventually his stomach felt so clamped up that he could no longer eat despite the hunger that pulled at his stomach. Icekit noticed, but was smart enough not to bring it up. As usual, there were cats observing the kits. Most the gossip had died down, but some cats were still hard on it. Few cats respected the kits as cats, and fewer still spent any time trying to get to know them. _All the better_ , thought Rowankit. _I don't want to put Icekit in danger anymore than she already is._

"You barely finished a bite," a voice observed, causing Rowankit to lash his ears onto his head. He spun around and looked up at his leader. Specklestar, the big bloody gloat who had killed his father. "I know you're nervous but your mentors will be eager to-"

"Skip to the point, big mouth," he hissed angrily. Specklestar frowned speculatively.

"I see." He mumbled, "Perhaps Pouncetail had point in his statement."

" _What_ statement?" A voice from behind piped up. _Icekit_. Specklestar shook his head and was on his way to the TallRock before Rowankit could recover from his angry fit. He felt his heart ache. _Beeleap wanted to see this day more than anything, and now she's going to miss it. She's going to miss me and Icekit- if she's still alive. I wonder if they'll accept her into StarClan or if she'll be with Rowanstar. Which one would be better?_

Icekit glanced a concerned look Rowankit's way, and the tom finished what he could of the mouse before grooming back his fur quickly and hopping towards the TallRock, Icekit by his side. She'd not bothered to groom her pelt, it was silky and easy to maintain, anyway. As soon as he saw the kits were ready, Rowanstar called for a Clan meeting. Rowankit felt lily-livered. His heart was beating so hard that he bet that Icekit could see it pushing against his chest. Icekit hid her worry with false pride, but Rowankit could see the concerned look in her eyes. Somewhere Fate was taunting them, the real curse of the half moon was going to come soon. Both the kits knew it. Neither knew what it would be, but both knew it was coming. Like a dog playing with its prey before killing it. The rowan berry bush was just the start of a game. A cruel, sadistic game.

 _Line Breaker_

"May all cats old enough to hunt gather below the TallRock for a Clan meeting!"

Pouncetail sighed, looking towards the exit of the hollow boulder that made the medicine cat's den. Specklestar was standing on the TallRock, a mighty light brown figure looking down at his Clan. He hoped that the leader would take his advice into head. He finished off with his herb organisation and ran out to join the warriors. Whispers were running through the Clan, and Pouncetail glanced a look at Icekit. She seemed to be hurting inside, as usual, but her facade was brave- she was a brave kit, that was for sure. She'd make a wonderful warrior one day, if she didn't break before that time came. Rowankit sat besides her, his cold eyes on the ground. He was shaking slightly, with anger. Pouncetail shook his head. He knew Specklestar would be able to see why he didn't want Rowankit going down the path of a warrior. Rowanstar was an amazing leader, but he ruled wrongly. Rowankit trusted very few cats in the world, and Rowanstar was one of them. His word shattered with his father's death. Pouncetail believed everyone could be healed, but for the same reason a blind cat could never walk the path of a warrior, Rowankit could not either.

"Skypaw, step forwards," the leader begun, causing Pouncetail to tilt his head. That was strange, normally kits were made apprentices before apprentices were made warriors. "I, Specklestar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Skypaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

The white and black apprentice stood proudly. He was a bit young to be a warrior, but Pouncetail did not doubt that he was ready. He was more mature than any of the other apprentices and considering the fact that he had no siblings jealousy wouldn't be a problem. "I do," he was confident, charismatic. A cat worthy, perhaps, of being leader one day. Pouncetail kept that in mind.

"Then, by the power of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Skypaw, from this day on you shall be known as Skyheart. StarClan honors your bravery and forethought, and we welcome you as a full member of WindClan." Pouncetail spared another glance at Skyheart, to see the tom sneaking off to meet his mentor, Rabbitwhisker, with a smile on his face and a leap in his step. The medicine cat smiled, he liked the tom. He remembered when he had first become a medicine cat, and how excited he had been. _Shame Shrewpaw never got to experience that._

"Doepaw, step forwards." Doepaw did so, a wide smile on her face. She was about to explode with pride. Pouncetail almost let out a _mrrow_ of amusement. Not the most mature apprentice, but probably the most energetic. "I, Specklestar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Doepaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

"I do!" She chirped, and small chuckles spread around the Clan. Pouncetail was not surprised to find that Doepaw was a Clan-favorite.

"Then, by the power of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Doepaw, from this day on you shall be known as Doehop. StarClan honors your kindness and dedication, and we welcome you as a full member of WindClan." Doepaw jumped in excitement, before stepping back into the crowd to find her parents. Pebblehop and Hawkflight, if Pouncetail wasn't mistaken. He had delivered many litters in his time.

"Hillpaw, step forwards," A young tom ran forwards, almost to the point that he was in front of the TallRock. He seemed to have a playful attitude and his fur was messy, to the horror, Pouncetail was sure, of his parents. "I, Specklestar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. He has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend him to you as a warrior in his turn. Hillpaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your life?"

Hillpaw didn't seem to notice he was expected to respond until several minutes after the question. Specklestar had to clear his throat. "Oh, uh, yes?"

"Then, by the power of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Hillpaw, from this day on you shall be known as Hillrabbit. StarClan honors your energy and skill in battle, and we welcome you as a full member of WindClan." Pouncetail couldn't see the strength in Hillpaw before, but when Specklestar mentioned it, he could see muscles under his pelt and a wonderful frame. _I suppose all cats have surprises_ , he thought, amused. _Even if some are really good at hiding them._

Hillpaw joined his littermate and parents, bragging about something or another. His parents seemed frustrated, and were on the verge of telling him off when Specklestar announced the final warrior ceremony. "Tulippaw, step forwards," the final she-cat was unarguably beautiful. Her pretty light green eyes and silky gray fur hid an amazing body. She walked with grace and integrity. Pouncetail chuckled, he could see why warriors found such a need for kits, all do he didn't feel anything for Tulippaw. "I, Specklestar, leader of WindClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice. She has trained hard to understand the ways of your noble code, and I commend her to you as a warrior in her turn. Tulippaw, do you promise to uphold the warrior code and protect and defend your Clan, even at the cost of your own life?"

"I do," she said proudly.

"Then, by the power of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Violetpaw, from this day on you shall be known as Violetfield. StarClan honors your charm and loyalty, and we welcome you as a full member of WindClan." After the announcement, Violetpaw turned and smiled at her family, but unlike her littermates headed off to be with her mentor. Pouncetail remembered to look at the other apprentices. They seemed quite disappointed to see their denmates go, except for Poolpaw who kept the usual neutral expression on his face. His eyes said nothing. He was good, even Pouncetail couldn't read him.

"I am sure everyone know about Icekit and Rowankit," an array of hisses and snorts spread out in the Clan. Specklestar had to meow for silence. "Today, they are to be appointed their mentors. Pouncetail, step forwards." Pouncetail let out a sigh of relief, knowing that Specklestar had chosen to go with his advise. He sat on the TallRock, just besides his leader. His eyes were on the kits, mostly Rowankit, who was staring back hatefully. _I'm sorry, but I have to do this. It's what's best for you._

"Icekit, you have reached the age of six moons, and it's time for you to be apprenticed. From this day on, until you receive your warrior name, you shall be known as Icepaw. Your mentor will be Skyheart," Pouncetail tilted his head. _Odd, he's a bit young. But I suppose Specklestar knows what he's doing, and I'm sure Icepaw will love to get to know him._ "I hope Skyheart will pass down all he knows to you. Skyheart, step forwards." The nervous warrior took a step forwards, and Icepaw examined him carefully. Rowankit, too, looked at him. His eyes were filled with disgust and what looked like jealousy. His claws were placed firmly in the ground. "Skyheart, you are ready to take on an apprentice. You had received excellent training from Rabbitwhisker, and you have shown yourself to be intelligent and empathetic. You will be the mentor Icepaw, and I expect you pass down all you know to Icepaw."

As they touched noses, Pouncetail heard Skyheart say quietly to his new apprentice. "Don't worry, not everyone in WindClan hates you." Icepaw had mumbled back.

"I wish Rowankit would think the same."

The two retreated back into the crowd, Icepaw glanced a nervous look at Rowankit. He smiled, but Pouncetail could see he was shaking. The tom was nervous, for perhaps what was the first time in his life. "Any cat who knows Rowanstar knows he acted violently and without mercy. I am reluctant to say that Rowankit had picked up such traits from his father, and after a through conversation with Pouncetail I have decided that it would be for his best interest that he follows the more peaceful path of a medicine cat. Rowankit, you have reached the age of six moons and it's time for you to be apprenticed. From this day until you become a medicine cat, you shall be known as Rowanpaw. Your mentor will be Pouncetail. I hope you understand why we decided to do this, and that you see that the path of others isn't nearly as painful as it makes itself out to be."

Rowankit was shaking even harder, with rage now. His eyes were on Specklestar, and then Pouncetail. He let out a snort of disgust and retreated to the crowd, and then into the nursery. Pouncetail sighed. He could see what perhaps no other cat in the Clan could, a tiny, hopeless kit. It hurt him to know he could do nothing to assist him.


	4. Hello, Raven

**Chapter Two**  
 **"Hello, Raven"**

 **R** owanpaw watched his mentor as he explained each and every type of herb in detail, and then continued to ask questions that Rowanpaw completely and absolutely refused to answer. He was picking up the information, Rowanpaw happened to be one of the smartest cats in WindClan and possibly the lake. Even his semi-interested listening was giving him the information required, Pouncetail couldn't tell he was incredibly interested in the subject. Not because he wanted to heal or even care about herbs, but because it gave him something to think about and consider. The calculations, deciding what poultices to make and what not to mix with what. That was Rowanpaw's domain, and he was sure if Icepaw wasn't exploring the territory with Skyheart she'd love to learn about the herbs, as well. The problem was not the information he was obtaining, but how he was meant to use it. By becoming a medicine cat he was forbidden kits, an okay punishment. He was also unable to become leader, which was completely and utterly unfair. If Rowanstar had managed to becoming leader and rule the Clan into prosperity, why couldn't Rowan _paw_?

"You're angry, Rowanpaw," noted Pouncetail, which caused the tom to snap his neck up. He mumbled a 'I know' and made a mental note to stop dropping his head when he thought. Pouncetail sighed, before pushing forwards a flower with white leaves and yellow base. Its petals were circular, and surrounded the flower. _Feverfew_. Thought Rowanpaw in his head, all do he wouldn't let himself speak it out loud. Pouncetail let out a loud hum, before chuckling. "You've been paying attention, haven't you, Rowanpaw?"

"What thought process lead you to that?" The apprentice hissed defensively. He put his claws over the feverfew and clawed it away. "For all you know I know more than you about these darned herbs but don't care enough to gloat about it."

"Rowanpaw, for all _I_ know you're just scared that if you act like yourself that others will judge you. You don't have to be like your father, or mother, or sister or even like me- just be _Rowanpaw_ \- the real Rowanpaw that exists deep in there..." Pouncetail put his tail on Rowanpaw's heart, and the apprentice gave him a sharp glare. Pouncetail was the biggest idiot alive, and he tried to brag about it. Rowanpaw smirked, if he acted like he was _deep, deep_ in his heart, then Pouncetail would see he was nothing like his father, indeed. He had far more potential, could do a lot more. He would fight a harder war, and win it. He wouldn't die before it was over. Realizing he had begun to look at his paws, he looked up to see a frowning Pouncetail. "Perhaps not, then. My job is to make sure my Clan is safe, Rowanpaw. I can't have you going around and learning battle tactics with the way you act."

"With the way I think, you mean?" Rowanpaw corrected. "Hardly, cats are scared of what they do not know. No one knows me but Icepaw-"

"Icepaw is scared of you," Pouncetail pointed out, causing Rowanpaw to burn with rage. His eyes narrowed, and he let out a quiet growl, his claws unsheathing from where they were. His anger was growing stronger and stronger, and it felt like a fire was burning through every single one of his nerves until only the worst, darkest part of him was left. "It's true, ask her. She doesn't want you to get hurt or anything, but she's not comfortable being around you. She went on and on about this apprenticeship as her escape from her 'protective ol' tyke' and continued to explain what you did- what you _said_ to her. If you treat your own sister that way, Rowanpaw, what will you do to an enemy Clanmate? StarClan knows the last thing on your mind is mercy."

It made sense, the constant pushing Icepaw had done when they were kits. Rowanpaw had never stopped to think about it, but when narrowed down it was pretty obvious that Icepaw didn't want to study with her littermate. Slightly pissed off (okay, very pissed off) and disgusted at himself for missing such an obvious fact about his own _sister_ , his own _world_ , Rowanpaw darted his eyes to Pouncetail's. They were burning darkly, as if to show what he felt for the medicine cat.

"Actually, the last thing on my mind is becoming a medicine cat," Rowanpaw growled, his claws going deeper into the moss bedding that sat below him. The boulder was damp and hot compared to the open moors, and the scent of herbs overwhelmed his every sense. He'd been forced to sit there all day and listen to his 'mentor' babble on about flower names and where to find them. "I will become a warrior, whether you like or expect it. Whether you think that I can do it or not. It's my duty to become a warrior, that was why I was put here. Why I am a WindClanner. You cannot force me into this den and tell me to stay still. I will forever run with the wind, and hunt in the moor. My brain might be sharp with knowledge of herbs, but my heart will always beat for the ways of a warrior, no matter what you do."

Pouncetail remained silent, and Pouncepaw looked away to hide the tears of rage that were starting to form in his eyes. He was already shaking, he didn't want to be a medicine cat- he didn't care _what_ chamomile was used for. He was already trying to shoo the information from his mind, as if it stood in the way of his ideal life. Of his oasis, where Rowanstar was still alive and Beeleap encouraged each and every pawstep. He closed his eyes, imagining the world. He'd be a different cat in that world, Icepaw wouldn't be afraid of him and Rowanstar would probably be proud of him. WindClan wouldn't like him, but they'd at least respect him enough to stay out of his way. He may even make friends, Shrewpaw would still be alive and Poolpaw seemed like a nice cat in bare essence. Rowanpaw snapped his eyes open, shaking his head. _Those cats are cruel and evil and want to do nothing but insult you and they all wish you were dead. You'll never make a friend of a WindClan cat._

 _Line Breaker_

His paws ached with tire, and Rowanpaw was about to ask for Pouncetail to stop when he saw giant oak trees over the horizon. Mid-sentence, he snapped his mouth shut and stared in awe. The same forest where his father had taken his last breath. He could see the tallest tree poking out, its age obvious even from far away. The tree his father had been killed by. His heart ached slightly, but his ambition- his need to become a _warrior_ , no, a _leader_ only grew brighter. His eyes burned with determination, if he we were to become a warrior he'd have to remain strong and powerful. _Maybe StarClan will think me a better leader if they get to meet me,_ Rowanpaw thought, before remembering his own Clan and frowning. _I'll just remind them of Rowanstar, like everyone else... unless..._

"Do you smell that?" Pouncetail questioned, causing Rowanpaw to jolt out of his thoughts and send a glare his way. The medicine cat didn't seem to notice, if he did he didn't make any sign of it, and flicked his tail towards the stream that split WindClan from ThunderClan. Some of the territory was WindClan's, of course, but that was further down where prey was more plentiful. Directly in front of them the territory only had squirrels, voles and other un-WindClan like creatures. Where the stream grew thin enough that a rabbit might cross it, the hares and rabbits grew more abundant. Herbs that WindClan would never be able to obtain by themselves otherwise were now dropping into their stores. Rowanpaw scowled. He was thinking about _herbs_ of all things. He chose to instead focus his mind on the scent Pouncetail was trying to point out, and was surprised to find that the fresh smell of feline touched his tongue. Rowanpaw couldn't track down _exactly_ how many cats were there, but there were at least three of them. His brain lead him to the belief that they were the other medicine cats, and he bit down on his own tongue to stop himself from hissing.

Something inside him told him that they were innocent, that they had no part in the matter. He ducked his head, gazing sideways so as not to appear angry. He didn't even know their names. Was he make to make assumptions on them so quickly? Maybe the cats of ThunderClan were better than those in WindClan. "The other medicine cats," he finally meowed bitterly. He was aware that he had done something he had never done before. He had given a cat a _chance_ , probably just to have it trampled away and laughed at. _Icepaw is having a bad affect._ He thought to himself, ignoring Pouncetail's proud grin. The medicine cat and his unwilling apprentice walked to the border together, and when they leaped the stream four figures stood talking. One of them was a lot smaller, and Rowanpaw would say she was around his age.

"Replaced Shrewpaw already?" asked an amused voice, causing Rowanpaw to narrow his eyes. The words were rude, unthinking. Even if it was towards a cat he hated he knew he'd have to keep it in mind. That same tongue might get into a fight with him one day or, StarClan forbid, Icepaw. He stared daggers into the cat's pelt, and was glad to see the discomfort that came from him. He was a large tabby tom that looked a bit younger than Pouncetail with burning green eyes. There was a nick in his right ear, and his fur was unkempt. Rowanpaw scented pine and dry mud on his paw. Before Rowanpaw could think of something to say to the untidy mud-smelling tom, Pouncetail cleared his throat. Rowanpaw bit his tongue harder, he didn't want the other medicine cats to get the right impression. If they trusted him then they'd like him, and if they'd like him then they'd _maybe_ be friends with him.

"Sorry, Toadheart," Pouncetail had meowed with an apologetic look in his eyes. Rowanpaw guessed that Pouncetail and _Toadheart_ were at least friends, as Pouncetail normally didn't tolerate others speaking of Shrewpaw around him. A hatred bubbled in Rowanpaw's stomach as he looked at the brown tom, a whole new definition brought to mind. _A friend of my enemy is my enemy,_ he decided, turning to look at the other cats around him. The one that seemed to be a ThunderClanner stood observing Rowanpaw with curious eyes. His fur was fluffy and soft, and he had a brown tabby pelt. He smelled strongly of herb, and Rowanpaw hoped he didn't smell anything like him. When he realized that Rowanpaw was staring, he smiled. Rowanpaw didn't return the gesture. He instead moved quickly to the next two cats.

Two she-cats from RiverClan, he had to guess. They smelt like the stream but stronger, and there was a sour aroma to them. The bigger of the two, a pretty tabby she-cat with silky long fur and drawing green eyes. Beeleap had said that RiverClan cats had beauty due to all the kittypet blood in them, but Rowanpaw hadn't believed her. It wasn't until he saw the two for himself that he was sure that she was correct. The older she-cat's plump build was invisible below her long fur. The younger one was actually quite thin (almost reaching WindClan's standards of average). Her fur was a glowing orange shade, and she had beautiful and comforting orange eyes. Rowanpaw felt his heart thug as he saw one of her legs twisted and useless behind her. When the younger she caught his gaze, she shuffled, trying to hide her bad leg.

The movement diverted Rowanpaw's thoughts, and he looked to the ground angrily. The she-cats had _tricked_ him into pity. Just because the other apprentice was crippled didn't mean that Rowanpaw was going to like them. They could be evil, for all Rowanpaw knew. He looked away, waiting for the conversation between the four other cats to start and then finally stop. By the end of it he had managed to pick up the names Sandwater, Twistedpaw and Robinsong. He also heard the name Frogsplash, a former RiverClan medicine cat gone elder. Rowanpaw looked at Twistedpaw, and the she-cat looked away quickly. It took a minute for Rowanpaw to grasp that the she-cat had been staring. After that point, he'd tuned the rest of the conversation out and had instead resulted to quietly fuming besides Pouncetail.

"I can do it on my own!" a loud yowl jerked Rowanpaw out of his thoughts, causing him to place his eyes on Twistedpaw. Sandwater was trying to help Twistedpaw up, the medicine cat apprentice had disagreed and after a bit of quiet battle, Twistedpaw had finally snapped. Rowanpaw tilted his head, then went back to his thoughts as the other medicine cats got up and began their way to the MoonPool once more. Pouncetail was trying to tell him something or another, but Rowanpaw made it clear that he wasn't listening and eventually the older cat strayed off.

It took until he could see the MoonPool in sight that he noticed that Twistedpaw had replaced him.

Rowanpaw glared at her, but the she-cat simply smiled back. "My name's Twistedpaw. Pouncetail says your name is Rowanpaw. So you were forced to becoming a medicine cat, too? Why?" Twistedpaw asked, before looking Rowanpaw up and down as if looking for a missing leg. After a few heartbeats, she concluded to herself. "Oh! Can you not speak?" Rowanpaw's fur went on end, and he strengthened his glare. Twistedpaw seemed to think she was correct and went on about how her Clan treated her like a useless mouse, and that they practically dragged her everywhere she went. She said that when she was just a kit, she had fallen into the river. That was how she got her crippled leg. Rowanpaw paused, unaware that he had stopped walking. _I was two moons old, the medicine cats were just gone for the half moon. No one was in camp to heal me, Birchsplash and Shorepaw thought I was gonna die. Watervole was frantically trying to find someone to help me._

His breathing got restrained and he looked the other way. "My father died when I was two moons old as well, during the half moon," he mumbled. He had felt so sorry for himself at the time that he'd not thought of the fact that there were cats out there who were having a far worse time than his. Shocked to find out that Rowanpaw wasn't actually mute, Twistedpaw looked to him with wide eyes. As if feeling a burden lifted off his chest, Rowanpaw begun to pour out the whole story. "My mother, Beeleap was exiled last moon. I was left with only my sister, and because Specklestar isn't letting me be a warrior I'm forced to remain with Pouncetail. I suppose in a way we're in this position for the same reason. My Clan is scared _of_ me, and your Clan is scared _for_ you."

"Why are your Clanmates scared of you?"

"Haven't you ever heard of Rowanstar?" Asked Rowanpaw, confused.

"Oh, yeah. But you're not him are you now, silly?"

"I'm his son, I was _named_ after him and I _act_ like him. My Clanmates can't see beyond that," he explained, and the two went on with their walk. When Twistedpaw got tired, Rowanpaw was going to offer help before realizing that she probably wouldn't take the offer too kindly. He was surprised to not find a cold anger run through him when he discovered that he had developed a relationship with a cat outside his own kin. He couldn't help but watch Twistedpaw limp through the undergrowth, a focused look in her eyes. Determined, kind, _everything_.

 _Oh great StarClan. What am I thinking?_ He thought, feeling his paws numb.

 _Line Breaker_

Ravenstar walked through the forests of StarClan swiftly. The former ShadowClan leader didn't spend much of his time with his old Clanmates and friends in StarClan, but a message leaked from one of the Four and got into his circle. Ambition threw him off, and after making a quick visit to Rowanstar, he decided that if his kit was half as bright as him it'd be worth meeting him. When he first arrived at StarClan, he was welcomed openly. He smiled and greeted the cats around him as if they meant anything to him. When they were done with their "hello"s, Ravenstar told them he wanted to speak with Rowanpaw. It took quite a bit of convincing, but eventually the cat who wanted to speak to him before, Ryestar, relented. Smirking at his own win when he was out of view, Ravenstar sat in the clearing where he knew Rowanpaw would soon arrive.

 _Line Breaker_

The ground fell below Rowanpaw, then reappeared as a softer grass. The tom at first could only see darkness, but then his eyes adjusted, or maybe it was the place, and he could see a beautiful moor which stretched out as far as the eye could see. When he took his first step, the ground gave up once more and he found himself in a clearing somewhere in ShadowClan territory. A black tom sat to one side, a charming smile on his face. Rowanpaw growled, the tom didn't react. The trees behind him were visible and stars lined his silky pelt. His green eyes seemed to glow. _Pouncetail was telling a really tall fib there,_ thought Rowanpaw. _I was imagining something a bit more than a glorified pelt._

"My name is Ravenstar," meowed the black cat, Ravenstar. Rowanpaw looked at him, trying to remember the name. He failed to grasp it, so he guessed Ravenstar had died before he was born. _"_ I knew your father." Rowanpaw grounded down on his teeth, darting his eyes away and unsheathing his claws and pushing them into ground. He was aware that his fur was on edge. Not even he was foolish enough to attack a StarClan cat, but he knew that he was preparing himself for a bashing. A stray hope caught in his throat, _maybe they'll say that because I'm related to Rowanstar I can't be a medicine cat!_ "He was a wonderful leader, just had a conversation with him a few moments ago, smart, if you're half the cat he is you'll go far."

A pause of silence between them. Ravenstar was smiling, waiting for a response. Rowanpaw was shaking. He was not angry. It was a rarer emotion that seemed to be rearing its ugly head more often. _Nervous_ , Rowanpaw thought as he tried to get his paws to stop shaking. _I'm nervous again. Why?_ He only dared talk when he had himself steady again. To his mild annoyance and gratitude, Ravenstar was still smiling. Rowanpaw felt like clawing the smug smirk off his face. He huffed, _respect_ , that was going to be a hard to concept to learn. "My father is in StarClan, Ravenstar? Excuse me for not believing your words," Rowanpaw began. He was shocked to find how easily he had been able to speak his sentence. His word work was never _bad_ , but it normally took more thought than he cared admit. He connected it to the confidence that Ravenstar was beaming. Rowanpaw gazed at his green eyes and dug his claws further into the dirt.

Ravenstar mumbled a 'hum' to himself, before examining Rowanpaw from paw to ears.

"No, your father is not in StarClan, it's all a very complicated concept," Ravenstar explained, and Rowanpaw felt himself grasping onto Ravenstar's words. "You see, there's StarClan and the Dark Forest, and then The Tribe of Endless Hunting... it's all very hard to keep track of, but when it comes down to it we're all one group, in one land. Rowanstar is here the same way that, when you're at the lake, the ThunderClan medicine cat is _there_. We're far apart, but you can nearly always reach the other cats, except for loners and kittypets, but that's another matter."

"Huh," Audated Rowanpaw, considering it in his head. It seemed like a basic concept, but he feared he didn't have enough information to develop a good argument against the idea or even fully comprehend it. He kept the information at the back of his head to examine later. _Maybe I'll tell Icepaw_ , he thought, before remembering what Pouncetail said. _No. If she's scared of me then so be it. Maybe Twistedpaw deserves to know... what are you going on about, Rowanpaw? No one deserves to know. It's just between you and StarClan and maybe the other medicine cats._ "Can you show me the other territories?"

"Well, yes," Ravenstar began to explain. "But it'll be harder than it seems. We can't go now, the MoonPool only allows you to travel within StarClan's borders. But, if we try hard enough we may be able to get you into the other territories... _I_ , rather, could get you outside. Very few cats actually leave StarClan, I'm one of the few travelers. If you wish, I'll meet you here again in two sunrises."

Rowanpaw scowled. The information was getting harder and harder to keep track of and understand. He took to simply memorizing the sentence and choosing to analyse it for the concept later. He intended to respond, but avoid the main statement. A trick he learned from all the observations he'd made. Rowanpaw really didn't understand why he didn't use them before. "Ravenstar, do you think that I could be a warrior?"

"I don't doubt it, Rowanpaw," the leader meowed, and inside Rowanpaw felt a knot untie itself. "You'll achieve a lot more than you can imagine, and possibly even more than your father." Rowanpaw could feel the tears in his eyes, and looked away. That was the first time a cat had complimented his father without adding any insults. Ravenstar was the first cat to ever like Rowanpaw, to like Rowanstar. To believe in Rowanpaw. Letting go of a shaky breath, Rowanpaw turned around to see Ravenstar on his way back to the StarClan forests. The world around him seemed to be consumed by darkness slowly.

As he felt the ground fall under him, and his stomach move to his neck, he knew inside that he was never going to watch a war from the sidelines. The ground solidified, and he looked around to see all the other cats asleep.

He was never going to be a true warrior at heart, either. Ravenstar had woken a strong, powerful ambition in Rowanpaw's heart, and he wasn't going to rest until he had taken Specklestar's place as leader. _That requires getting his trust first,_ Rowanpaw sat down, looking at the sky. The stars blinked down at him, and he could almost feel the taunting jibes his ancestors were sending down.

 **A/N -** Okay, yay! This chapter is over with and I crossed the 4 000 line this time. Also incredibly quick compared to usual. _Hah,_ take that lack-of-muse! Alrightt, not going to bother asking for reviews anymore because I think you get the point but um... that's kind of an ironic statement. Anyway, Ravenstar is going to be a main character, but I'm not sure we'll be getting much of their POV. Icepaw and Rowanpaw might not be too close, but they'll still retain a healthy relationship. At least, as healthy as Rowanpaw can keep his relationship.

Who's the best? C'est moi!


	5. Ragtag Leader

**Chapter Three  
** **"Ragtag Leader"**

* * *

 **I** cepaw paused, her eyes widening as she begun to understand the implication of Poolpaw's words. Her heart began to beat quickly and her stomach turned into butterflies. All she managed was to stop her legs from shaking and breaking out under her. " _Me_? You wanna be _friends_ with _me_?" Her words were unsure, stuttered, weak. It was at times like this that she wanted Rowanpaw's cold, hollow, angry but otherwise calm and collected exterior. The prospect of friends was just above her head, she hadn't had anyone except her mother and brother her entire life. It almost felt unreal. Like she would wake up at any moment.

"I'd figure you'd be lonely without Rowanpaw," Poolpaw pointed out, his voice emotionless but warm. Icepaw couldn't help but listen to every word, and then contemplate if they had any hidden meanings, and then look to Poolpaw's littermates who were to behind him. "Not that he's much company..." Icepaw felt a pang, as if Poolpaw had given up any hopes of being her friend, before reminding herself sharply that Rowanpaw was _not_ good company. He was smart, sure, but who was Icepaw comparing him to? She nodded her head dumbly.

"Great, I suppose I should introduce myself and my littermates," he flicked his tail and the three other apprentices walked up behind him. From their scents, Icepaw could that there was only one she-cat among the siblings. She looked just like Icepaw wanted to look, with the ideal WindClan warrior build and pretty gray fur that she maintained well, even if it _did_ look hard to maintain. Icepaw moved her gaze away quickly, before the she-cat thought she was staring. "I'm Poolpaw, of course, you already _knew_ that. My mentor's Brambleflight. He's a _huge_ grouch, but he isn't really that bad. You should see him when he runs-"

"He's like lightning," interjected one of the tom cats before Poolpaw could finish. He had a larger build but was relatively thin and dark brown stripes ran across his light brown pelt. His tail-tip was white and seemed to sway excitedly. "Mhm! I'm Hoppaw, by the way. We used to be denmates- well, we still are, but we used to share the nursery- your brother was also a major grouch. He'll make a good medicine cat! He'll know _just_ how to tell cats off." Poolpaw rolled his eyes, and as Icepaw looked at Hoppaw again she noticed he was strangely small, even if he was strong and broad.

"Alright, _thank you_ , Hoppaw, for that piece of information," Poolpaw meowed, tilting his head to the last two cats. "She's Woolpaw, he's Twigpaw."

"Pleasure!" Laughed Twigpaw, and Woolpaw nodded her head politely. A friendly smile was on her face.

"How's training been?" Twigpaw asked, tilting his head slightly. "I hated my first moon- it was terrible having to wake up at dawn! I assure you it gets better, and a lot safer. Surprisingly, badgers, foxes and large hares are a _lot_ less terrifying than your brother..."

"And don't get me started on your father," Woolpaw meowed, her eyes widening as she heard her own statement. She narrowed her eyes and snapped her mouth shut again. Icepaw looked at her quietly, before giving her a forgiving smile to tell her that she understood. Rowanstar really was a horrible leader, killing so many cats during such a short life and even shorter reign. _I wonder what would happen if I had a father more like Branchleap. Maybe I'd turn out better, and Rowanpaw and I would still be friends._

 _I have better friends now, do!_ She thought joyfully, and almost leaped with joy. _Friends. I have friends!_

* * *

"Rule number one," Ravenstar stated in a loud, leader-like voice. Rowanpaw stood besides him, looking at him with wide and curious eyes. Behind the two was a small group of three other cats from different Clans, Rowanpaw didn't no which or if they were really Clan cats or not. Ravenstar had dragged him ahead, not allowing him to speak with the other cats because he had to ' _listen carefully_ '. "There are no innocents in battle, only enemies, allies and neutrals. If RiverClan and ThunderClan attack, and you are RiverClan's leader, RiverClan is an ally, ThunderClan is an enemy and WindClan and ShadowClan are neutrals-"

"But ThunderClan and RiverClan wouldn't attack- it'd be too wasteful, wouldn't it be? There's an entire lake between them, and there's no way WindClan is letting ThunderClan pass through the territory," Rowanpaw pointed out. "Besides, what if it's a kit, doesn't the warrior code st-"

There was a series of laughter behind him, which caused Rowanpaw to look back in shock and disgust. _Did they just laugh at the warrior code?_ The calm that had originally swept over him turned into cold anger and he diverted his gaze. Ravenstar paused them, causing Rowanpaw to almost trip over his own paws. "Alright, Rowanpaw has a point," Ravenstar meowed, causing the other cats to look up in shock. "Maybe it does not mean much to you, nor does any sense of nobility, but it might mean something to other cats. Do you want allies in battle?"

 _I don't need you to defend me!_ Thought Rowanpaw angrily, digging his claws into the ground and lashing his tail. _I'm not a kit!_

"Our Clans will fight with us!" Yelled a voice. Rowanpaw observed the speaker, a gray tabby with an obvious ThunderClan build. His fur was ruffled and he had the strange, messy kit-like look. Rowanpaw guessed he was roughly his own age, if not the age of Lavenderhop's litter. That meant he had to be an apprentice, or under aged warrior. He was a bit too talkative for Rowanpaw's liking, and if he wasn't in such a good much Rowanpaw would be throwing a verbal thrashing at the cat for being so rude to a cat who obviously knew more than he.

" _But_ ," interjected another voice. A tall muddy brown tom which smelled like the river. Rowanpaw wondered if he knew Twistedpaw. He seemed to be at least twelve moons old, but Rowanpaw wasn't familiar with RiverClan cats' build, so he didn't make any uneducated presumptions. "Your own Clan is small compared to the size of your own Clan and, say... WindClan."

Another voice let out a low laugh, a small and petite light gray she-cat. Roughly Rowanpaw's age. She smelled like nothing but mud and fir. "But isn't _that_ against the code as well? Two Clans teaming up against one?"

"Perhaps we should change the warrior code-" Rowanpaw began, not noticing that he had spoke his thoughts. He felt his head rush with blood. The other cats snickered, a couple of whispers of 'who does he think he _is_?' were exchanged and one cat finally yelled that the warrior code was far too hard to change.

"Actually," Ravenstar meowed when he saw the shocked look on the other cat's faces. "Rowanpaw has a very good point. Instead of trying to look at ways to leap the barriers, try and dig under them instead. Or, if you're particularly skilled, walk around them. Imagine that every challenge is a barrier that you need to leap. That every idea is a hunt for a piece of prey. I refuse to have uneducated, blubbering idiots as apprentices."

The group began to walk once more as Ravenstar went on in his stride. Rowanpaw could feel the hostility being pressed towards him, and wondered if there really _weren't_ any WindClan apprentices in the little training group. "Alright, I think that you three can train here. I'll get a dark forest warrior to fight with you, Reedclaw. Now, any questions before me and Rowanpaw head off?"

"Why isn't _Rowanpaw_ ," The ShadowClan apprentice spoke the word awkwardly, as if she was used to saying it in a different way. Rowanpaw knew why, Rowan _star_ was probably a much more common name on her tongue. "Training with us? I'm pretty sure just because he's as thin as a stick doesn't mean he can't fight-"

Rowanpaw let out a low growl, fluffing up his fur. He was trying to hide his small belly, knowing that he was slowly eating less and less. It wasn't that he didn't want to eat, it was that he forgot until it was too late. "At least _Í'm_ not the size of a mous-"

"Rowanpaw isn't fighting because he's a medicine cat apprentice," Ravenstar stopped the fight before it happened, shoving Rowanpaw behind. The tom let out a displeased hiss and stormed into the undergrowth, quietly listening to the conversation. He was trying to soothe his breathing, anger rushing through his every vein. He didn't _want_ to be a medicine cat! Not in the Dark Forest, at least! He was going to be a leader, Ravenstar said he would be. Had the dead leader lost hope in him? Rowanpaw would need to prove himself, or just prove Ravenstar wrong.

"Medicine cat apprentice? Why's a medicine cat here?" The same cat questioned, slightly calmed.

"Why's a _warrior_ here?" Echoed Ravenstar back, before turning around to find Rowanpaw. The apprentice didn't give him a chance, instead going further into the undergrowth. He knew he was about to go into one of his moods, and he didn't want to strike out at Ravenstar. His pawsteps were clumsy, and he noted in his head that he hadn't eaten the sunrise before either. _You need to eat more_ , snapped a voice in his head, causing him to go further into the undergrowth until finally he reached a clearing filled with dark, shady cats which seemed to be slowly disappearing. Rowanpaw's eyes narrowed.

"Is that one of Ravenstar's play kits?" Taunted a voice, causing Rowanpaw to let out a low intimidating growl.

"Aww! Look, it's trying to scare us. What do you bet, WindClan or ShadowClan?"

"Too thin to be ShadowClan! Of course this little midget is from WindClan. Shall we send him back?"

"What if Ravenstar gets mad?"

"Boo-hoo."

Rowanpaw unsheathed his claws, trying his best not to shake. Who were these cats? Why did they think they had the right to approach him and taunt him? And his Clan? To be fair, he didn't like the latter. Rowanpaw closed his eyes shortly, before opening them and examining the cats carefully as they continued to taunt and throw insults at him. It was cold and hollow, a strange diversion from the usual flame. "Actually, I was here looking for something- someone," Rowanpaw meowed calmly, trying his best not to freak out as he heard his own voice. "Has anyone happened to see my father?"

"Ahhh," meowed a white tom, jumping off a boulder and getting close to the tom and sniffing him. "And who may that be, little wind kit?"

"My name is Rowanpaw," He meowed confidently, the cold and hollow feeling refusing to leave. At the sound of _Rowan-_ most the cats backed off, but some remained, unaware of Rowanstar's son, he supposed. "My father, I think, is among you somewhere. Rowanstar?" That was enough to send everyone back, and Rowanpaw smirked. That was one way of using his father's name, instead of pushing it away. _Embrace it, embrace the hollow. Embrace the clear._

"I'll go get him," meowed a she-cat at the back of the crowd, running off quickly. Rowanpaw was happy to see that the cats had gone back to fighting each other instead of him and sat down, wondering what he had just done. How he had just thought. It seemed so clear how to get the cats away, they were evil cats- Rowanstar happened to be believed to be one of the evillest cats in generations. Rowanpaw frowned, then smirked. He had figured out how to fight back without his claws. That was one useful piece of knowledge. He decided he liked it, liked it more than fighting with claws, at least. He would do both. He didn't care. It depended on which one was more effective, and at the moment it seemed that words were the sharper weapon.

* * *

Rowanstar walked into the clear, causing Rowanpaw to snap his head up. He didn't actually think he'd see his father, but when he did moons of old memories came flooding back in. His paws began to shake uncertainly and he took a shocked step back. This caused laughter to chorus through the dark forest cats, and a scowl to form on Rowanpaw's face. They were all cowards! Fighting, retreating and laughing all at the same time! He shook his head, knowing that there was nothing he could say, and he couldn't fight- mainly because there were too many cats. "My son?" Rowanstar asked, running forwards. "No... you can't tell me. Was it Ravenstar?"

"How'd you know?" Rowanpaw asked uncertainly as Rowanstar dragged him into a quiet clearing. His father was tall, with creamy fur like Icepaw's. Rowanstar shook his head, sighing.

"That _idiot!_ I told him not to- you don't deserve to get involved, are you an apprentice yet?" Rowanstar asked. "Oh, StarClan forbid- are you a warrior!?"

"Do I look the size of a warrior?" Rowanpaw asked sarcastically, before catching himself and biting down on his tongue. "I mean, I am an apprentice, just by two sunrises. Specklestar... actually, I'll save _him_ for later. Pouncetail forced me to become medicine cat apprentice because I was 'too much like you'. Can you _believe_ that?"

The former leader paused, sighing quietly and shaking his head. "I was hoping you'd be like your mother, Rowanpaw. I knew you were a special case from the start, the way you'd look into the distance and your counting phase- whatever did happen to that?" _Still have it,_ Rowanpaw thought in his head, but did not speak out loud. "Maybe, Rowanpaw, it's best that you become medicine cat apprentice. You're a smart kit- apprentice, and any cat who denies that is a fool. But... I can see what Pouncetail sees."

 _What?_ Rowanpaw thought, the single word echoing in a hollow mind as Rowanpaw felt the foundation of his reality starting to shake. He closed his eyes and felt a headache start to set. He shook his head. "No! No, that cannot be true. Tell me you're lying. I'm like you! You're the best leader WindClan has ever had! You saved me- the elders from starvation. Then... it was Specklestar! I know he killed you-"

"I know you know..."

"Then why didn't you listen!" Rowanpaw yelled, not caring if anyone heard.

"Because I was stupid enough to underestimate you," Rowanstar pointed out, causing Rowanpaw to pause. He looked away, not sure what he expected from his father. For him to be just like the cat he had dreamed of as a one moon old kit? He hadn't even seen his father that much, him being busy with the war and all. Even his highly organised brain found his father's appearance slightly fuzzy, commonly mixing it up with Icepaw's more feminine features.

 _You are not your father._ The revelation rang through his head like a bell, echoing on the walls and reflecting to his ears. _You are Rowanpaw._ Then, the voice almost yowled in his head. _Fight for your point!_

"What kind of fight?" He mumbled to himself, seeing Rowanstar's eyes fill with confusion for a moment. He looked at his father quietly, wondering what it felt like to be able to look through yourself. What it felt like to have your fate determined by a bunch of old cats who never agreed with each other. To have everything you have ever done measured on a scale, and not being able to have a say in any of it. A cold feeling ran through Rowanpaw's veins, and he looked at his father pitifully. Rowanstar almost flinched at the gaze.

His eyes narrowed, and he said a quick goodbye and ran off, trying to catch a whiff of his mentor among the undergrowth and thick, foggy scent of death. He could hardly see pass all the ill trees and dead bushes. The thorns tore at his pelt as he grew reckless, refusing to stop and loosen himself. He just wanted to find Ravenstar, to find the soothing confidence that the tom radiated. He felt like he had changed, and hadn't _planned_ on changing. He thought that the Dark Forest would be a fun activity, a chance for him to discuss his ideas with his father. A tom who would always listen.

 _I'm about to cry-_ his voice observed. He stopped making his way through the forest and let out a loud huff, forcing the tears back. He wasn't sad about his father, or the way he behaved. He didn't feel bad that his entire belief system was practically shattered- what he did care about was the fact that StarClan was as cruel as the Rowanstar in the mind of his Clanmate's... and they didn't even stop to question it. Rowanpaw remembered the white tom, and the crowding group of cats. They had all had lives, all had personalities, and they were all dumped out. Until when? Forever? Rowanpaw shook his head, not liking the concept. There would be way too many cats.

So until they disappeared... or were killed.

Most would have kin, some would have kin in StarClan, mates who would never get to meet their mates because someone who outranked them demanded it. Once you died, your decisions in life were final. You could do no more but watch as those who did more than you raised up. An ambition swirled in Rowanpaw's belly, then dampened, then went out completely. _Who am I kidding?_ He thought spitefully. _I'm not ambitious... I don't even want to be in StarClan, that was obvious when I came to the Dark Forest without second question. Why do I feel like something needs to be changed?_

Rowanpaw paused.

Rowanpaw blinked.

 _Is this pity?_

* * *

 **A/N:** Sorry for the late update, I've been having headaches like all Hell throughout the week. This is only 3000+ words, but it touches on enough. If you can't already tell, the story is probably going to be pretty fast paced, but we're going to have to go through a lot more of adventure, I'm afraid we aren't even fully aware of Rowanpaw's personality yet, or most of the Clan's. This is like a little seedling, but we'll be looking at all the crazy, fun chemical reactions going on inside that seedling, I promise. Now that that's done, I just want to extend a _thank you_ to BrightMind for all the kind reviews. I didn't expect it, and it hit me unexpected and honestly I was the happiest I've been in a while after reading those reviews, and I don't know why. Gah. Just thank you because you're the reason I don't hate humanity. Yes, I make mountains out of molehills. _(But doesn't_ every _writer?_ )


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